Monologues  by Janet S. Tiger
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The following is an excerpt from
          THE  TOWEL LADY
-

This is possibly Janet S. Tiger's most produced work.

Since its publication, THE TOWEL LADY has been published in

THE SCENEBOOK FOR ACTORS:
Great Monologs and Dialogs from Contemporary and Classical Theatre by Norman A. Bert.  1990. 
Meriwether Publishing Ltd./Colorado Springs, Colorado

and produced numerous times nationally and internationally.  Actors and students who have used THE TOWEL LADY have won awards at local and national levels in drama contests, admission to drama departments - and many roles.



     THE TOWEL LADY © 1989 
all rights reserved by Janet S. Tiger
             
Characters - 1 Actress  - older

Set – Can be bare, very little furniture. 
Laundry basket, clothesline.


(A woman comes onto the stage with a basket of laundry, which she puts down heavily.  She quickly places three pairs
of men’s shorts on the line, using her mouth to hold the wooden clothespins.  She is an expert at this, the way a good sign painter is an expert at his job.  Then she takes a towel from the basket and she stops, turning to the audience, holding the towel in a kind of reverie.)

THE TOWEL LADY – You know, a new towel is a wonderful thing.  Come on, you ladies all know what I’m talking about!  Now, I can understand why the men are muttering to themselves, because no man can appreciate a good towel.  But you ladies know what I’m saying is true!  Only another woman knows what I’m talkin’ about…(She holds out the towel to illustrate.)

        Isn’t it beautiful when it’s brand new?  It’s so soft and good smellin”.  It has a youthful way about it, kinda sassy, but innocent.  You men are sittin’ there wonderin’ why the hell you came to lsiten to some old woman talk about the laundry, but if you listened for once in your lives, maybe you’d learn something.

        See this towel?  I just bought it today.  It ain’t never been touched by any hands ‘cept mine.  Well, maybe somebody touched it in the store first, but since I didn’t see it and it didn’t leave no mark, it don’t matter….(examining the edges)   It’s perfect.  I never buy those ‘seconds’ with their funny lines down the middle and the frayed bottoms.  They don’t last as long.  I buy hunnert per cent thick cotton Cannon towels made for J. C. Penney.  The thirsty ones.

        Men never did understand towels.  And that’s because they treat their towels just like they treat their women. ........

(This monologue has a great ending and allows the actress the chance to show a range of emotions.)

If you would like to purchase

          THE TOWEL LADY 
 
Running time –3 minutes            $5.00/script
    Set – minimal, some towels, a clothesline, washbasket
    1 character         1 older woman – 50s-60s

A woman hangs out her laundry while telling her unusual views on towels - and life.

Buy now
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The following is an excerpt from
                 GET A COLD, 
which is from the full-length play
           THE END OF DEATH,
     which had its world premiere in August 2007 at Swedenborg Hall, San Diego, Janet S. Tiger's commissioned work as Playwright-in-Residence 2006-8.

                  GET A COLD
               

    Set – simple, future
  1 character   a man or woman – older
 
A person from the future describes the delight he has in the simple pleasure of...getting a cold.

  © Aug. 26, 2005 Janet S. Tiger all rights reserved
         
   
(The set is fairly simple, a modern chair, table, box of kleenex, small garbage pail.  The actor -this could also be a woman, as long as she, too is old- comes onstage.  He is very old, wearing a simple, toga-like outfit.  His hair is wild, and he is exuberant.)

Now, my friends, I have to tell you about my favorite part of this process.  Those of you (he indicates the audience) who are not as old as I am will probably not remember what I’m going to tell you about.  Those of you who lived before the dawn of our new technology might have experienced this many, many years ago.

Being my second birthday – that’s two million days for those of you who just came in – I wanted to fully know what it was like….to have a cold.

I can see some of you shaking your heads – who wants to have a cold.  But I was born after colds and other illness had been eradicated – so I never had the joy.  I can hear you laughing again, (mimics)  ‘Why not use  RT – revisiting technology – to go back and see what a cold was like?’   I suppose that’s one option, but let me ask those of you who lived during the electrical energy age – how often did you return to the pre-electrical age for fun?   I’m not talking about blackouts, but turning off electricity for a week or two, just to remember what the 1800s felt like.  (listens)  Not many did.

But this is different – this is the end of my time in this plane of existence, so I want to go out not having missed one thing.  So I set out to catch a cold.  This is a funny expression in itself.  There’s catch a fish, catch a train, catch a plane, catch a shooting star – all with wonderful connotations.

But to catch a cold – that’s like saying you want to catch a broken leg or catch …well, you understand.  But then, I caught the cold.  What happened was that I stopped all the morning wellness injections.  Nothing happened for awhile, because I did it slowly.  I’ve read that if you stop cold turkey you can die the next day because your immune system is so affected!

So I slowly eased off, and waited.  And I was well for awhile – and then, it happened!  (He sneezes very loudly)  That’s how it starts you see – with one of those – they’re called (enunciates very clearly) a suh-neee-zuh!  And they feel fantastic!  What a sensation!  You can feel it through your whole body!  It’s almost like -  yes, it’s like that!

Anyhow, the first sneeze is followed by….(he sneezes violently several times).   Many more.  They are not as much fun when you have to do it a lot.  And your throat gets sore – very painful.  And it feels like it’s swelling up.  And then your head gets all stuffy (starts talking as if he has a cold)  add you stad talking like dis….And your nose starts dripping…..(he gets the kleenex and starts blowing his nose)

These are the most amazing invention.  I went into the archives and the first of these were cotton  (shows a cloth handkerchief)  Very unsanitary, but then , so were all those days.  But these (he holds up the kleenex box) ingenious.  See how they pop up all by themselves!

And then you get a fever.  Now, from what I read, not all colds get a fever, but I was lucky enough to develop one.  Now that is a sensation!  First, you get very, very cold.  Not like outer space cold, but from the inside out, it actually feels as if the inside of you, all your internal organs, bones, everything, is freezing.

These are called blankets (holds them up)  They were used before radiant heat panels, so I decided to try them for authenticity.  They don’t get you warm at all!  You shiver and shake with the cold, even when you have five of them on you!

But then, the shaking stops and you start to boil!  The sweat drips off your face and you stay under the covers because if you put on a cool breeze you feel worse!  It is an astonishing range of concurrent sensations!  I highly recommend it!

(This monologue is a crowd pleaser, and can be used for auditions or showcases.)



    Set – simple, future
  1 character   1 man or woman– older

A person from the future describes the delight he has in the simple pleasure of...getting a cold.

If you would like to purchase
                  GET A COLD
Running time –8 minutes            $5.00/script
Buy now


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BLOOD
’ monologue from TRANSFUSION
Running time –            $4..00/script monologue  - $!5.00 full-length play
    Set –  bare stage                          
    1 character   1 man – 40s

A moving expression  of a man who is trying to deal with a transfusion from his son -  a transfusion that has given him AIDS.

This monologue has been very successful in both state and national competitions, and has even been performed at Kennedy Center by a Presidential Scholar. 
 Buy now

     CURSE OF THE DUCHESS

Running time – 15 minutes                                                 $8.00/script
Set –   minimal - chair, table, lamp
Lighting & sound effects very important                            
    Character - The duchess - in her late 80s, very British

A duchess recounts how a curse changed her life.  Touching- a tour de force for an older actress.
    Winner - DFAS National 1-Act Playwriting Contest 2nd Place
    Produced - Five Flags Theatre, Dubuque, Iowa
    Televised - Public Access Cable Channel Iowa




THE AIRPORT MONOLOGUES-

THIS FLIGHT HAS BEEN DELAYED
Set in an airport

AIRPORT DREAMS  (female, 40s-50s)
Set in an airport

AUDITION PIECE - THE WINNER (female, any age)

WHAT HAVE I FORGOTTEN THIS TIME?  (20s-30s female)

'When I was a little girl...' monologue from THE END OF DEATH
               (female, 30s-40s)



More works by Janet S. Tiger will be coming soon - she has a drawer full of over 100 monologues/plays/screenplays/books that are 10-70% completed.






This website is under construction.
It will have monologues by Janet S. Tiger, including 
Monologue samples,  Monologues for $1.00!,
 new monologues,(scroll down)
monologues for auditions, how to write a monologue, how to prepare for a monologue, and how to video a monologue.
To get more info, please call 858-274-9678 or email tigerteam1@gmail.com

New! - $1 monologues !!
     (Paypal handling - $.50 - total $1.50)

If you scroll down, there are two new monologues - CLARIFICATION for a teenager 13-15, and PROPS for young men late teens through 30s

 If you would like to get the final paragraphs, just click the Pay Now Button below and I will email the entire monologue.  Thank you!

        CLARIFICATION
         by Janet S. Tiger (c)
   March 9, 2009 all rights reserved
                          Tigerteam1@gmail.com www.PlaysByJanetSTiger.com

(A teen-age girl comes out - she is holding some papers and she is agitated.  She takes the papers and reads, as if to whoever will be getting the letter.)

Dear President of the Company,

This letter is to let you know that I do not like, no, make that HATE your product, Head of Beauty Clarifying Shampoo.

I have used your product religiously for several months now, every single day that I wash my hair, which is just about every day, and I can honestly say that your shampoo has not clarified anything!

I bought your shampoo because I wanted a better life.   That's what the name promises (loud) CLARIFYING SHAMPOO.   Your name is clear - shampoo cleans the hair, that is the dictionary definition, and clarifying means that your shampoo makes something clear.  But since I started using your product, nothing is any clearer!

First, I still do not understand my sister, but she is only 8,, so perhaps that is an impossibility completely, but I still don't understand my parents, and I certainly don't understand boys.   And my best friend won't talk to me, and it is not clear at all why she won't.  (To the audience)  I mean, just because I went out with her boyfriend, I mean, if he went out with me, how much of a boyfriend is he anyway?  (Back to the letter)
And the most difficult to understand.....(Takes a deep breath)  is ME!  

Every night  I brush my teeth and I take my shower and I use your clarifying shampoo, and then I go to sleep and when I wake up - (loud) NOTHING IS ANY CLEARER!   Why do I like Tyler, but I when I see Sean, I get butterflies in my stomach?   And how come I get so mad at my mother I want to scream for hours.  (To the audience)  Well, sometimes I do scream for hours.   (Back to the letter)  And why can I be so down one minute, and so happy the next, just because my outfit matches and somebody notices?

Now you may ask if I didn't follow the directions, but I did!   I read them every time I use your product - (memorized) 'Apply to wet hair, lather and rinse - repeat if necessary'   And I do that!   Every time!   But when I wake up the next day, still....LIFE IS A HUGE MYSTERY!

To get entire script- click here to email after you purchase
(sent within 2-24 hours)
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Brand new - only 8 people nationwide have purchased this monologue!


--------------------------------------------

        Properly Done
(c) Feb. 28, 2009   all rights reserved
a monologue by Janet S. Tiger


 (A young man comes out onstage.   He is dressed in a suit, his hair neatly combed, glasses.  He looks to be in High School and everything is polished about him.  He walks directly to the front of the stage and addresses those in front.)

Hello, my name is..... , I'm a senior, and I represent Jefferson High School.   The piece that I will be performing today is called ...(at this he goes to write on a blackboard behind him - this can be mimed)...Properly Done.

(He takes a deep breath.)

I know that the rules say that I am not supposed to have any props - of any kind.   But, this is my question - what is a prop?   Are these a prop?  (He removes his glasses and looks at them>)   I can do so many things with them.   (Puts them on his head, twirls them, etc., then looks out at the judges, slight Southern accent)   No, Jem, I can't play any football with you., I have to defend someone from an unfair accusation......(Removes them) So are they considered to be a prop?   What if I don't wear glasses?   So, I think to be fair, I'm just gonna ..........  (He folds them and puts them in his pocket.)

But wait, what about this........(He takes off his jacket now and slings it over a shoulder.)   Will I get graded down now?

I could've worn a hat, too!   But....(he sets down the jacket on the floor)   I'm just trying to be fair here.....Whoa....(He takes off one of his shoes during the following)   Now this is definitely a prop....  I mean, I can kill myself with the shoelaces......(Illustrates- British accent)  Tis a far, far better thing I do...to wash my socks every day ...or......(sly) I can throw these (makes as if to aim at the judges)  at the President!...(he sails it offstage - takes the second shoe and hugs it) Or eat it for dinner!  (Imitates Charlie Chaplin)

And if you're honest, this shirt....now if that doesn't give you a great prop to show......(unbuttons slowly, smiling)   or it can show.......(changes direction)  ... Stella!  Stella!....   (He rips open the  snaps - and growls.)

To get entire script- click here to email after you purchase
(sent within 2-24 hours)
To purchase click below on
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(plus $.50 handling which will show up as shipping)

Brand new - only 8 people nationwide have purchased this monologue!

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